31st March

Yup, things arent gonna work out as planned today.
Somebody once said: "Killing yourself to live!" I guess it was Ozzy.
Or Bloc Party. Anyway, those lyrics are really bad.
Try and stay indoors to escape making a fool of yourself.

At 13:00 you look at the clock and its 21:00, and time for CSI.

-The End-

30th March

Abraham will visit you for dinner.
Remember the thing about milk and meat!
Its ok to mix it

March 29th

Today you will liberate yourself from democracy, only to find yourself in total control of your own wet willy. Foreigners will knock on your door and ask: "Hable russian?"
"Njet" you answer provocately and bitchslap them before closing the door.
These 4 foreigners will burn down your door and build a new one out of silicon.

By the way, Jesus is coming..... Look busy!


Todays lottery numbers: 4, 9, 16, 23, 24, 29, 31

28th March

Ok, here is the deal...
You wont be as Ninja as these guys are
but as time flyes by today you will notice that the
guy on the left is actually the guy on the right.
And he is not reaching for a pistol, but a sword!

At noon you will call your mom and
when she answeres you scream:
"BLACK BANANAS, BLACK BANANAS IN BOMBAY"
Then you hang up.

After this hate crime you call me and say the same thing.

The last thing on your mind today,
and you are going to be thinking about this alot:
"Can the guy in the middle really
see his reflection in the camera lens?"

Todays band:
Inner Inner Inner Circle

March 27th

"Heracleum Mantegazziani"

Yes, fear the return of the giant hogweed today.
It will come.
It has been predicted, but not by me.
You will run to mom for shelter but the battering
will certanly break the door in.

Run! Run! Run!

Thats basically what you have to do all day!

I'm sorry

26th March

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
LOOK WHAT A SILLY CAT HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

YOU WILL BE JUST AS SILLY!!!!!! DIIIIIIIGGG??!?!?!?!??!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

March 25th

This is your day, now tell me mine.

24th March

"ETAGWODAHS" is the word yo cant get out your head for the whole day!
Well dont give it to much thought beacause today you will be busy painting "Maybe I like Zlatan after all" on all your pillow cases.
Besides that, this moth on the picture will take you to salvation.

It wont be easy since the moth is 100 times smaller than you and fly's very sporadicly. (puts!)

Just enjoy your Simpson-marathon and no harm will come to you or your relatives.


Todays Nintendo 16-bit game: ETAGWODAHS

....ahhh, and one more thing






.
.
. .






. .

March 23rd

Manchester - Liverpool
2-3

22nd March

You walk to the bathroom and trow up.
Apperantly you had some dog for dinner yesterday... they tend to make you vomit
As you cook yourself breakfeast you notise a crack in the wall.
Peeping more closely you find that you are not in this world anymore.
A 3098 headed creature talks to you but you dont understand-..
Maybe its telling something about what kinda weather there is.
The morning is moist. The moorning is humid.
As you relize its Billy Crystal you are talking to, you revolt in anger and walk away from there.
You wont get far cause you trip on Danny De Vito.

Motherfuckers


You are back at home.


..........you had a good time

March 21st

Waking up is going to be good. You are humming "Funky Town" and you are liking so much that you pull out your "Lipps Inc" vinyl and scratch the song carefully so that the song plays forwards and backwards repeatatly all day.

Its easter, but you predicted that yourself a long time ago.

For lunch you will bake toast in the oven with beans.
It will be good.
In the afternoon when you are utterly toxicated you call both your moms and say "See you at the bar".

A wild night awaits you as you are dancing in the moonlight until it all must end and upon us is a new prediction.

Todays unlucky number: 21

Todays guy you shouldnt talk to: Peter. PETER!!!!!!!!
ok, bye

20th March

You wake up from a dream which was about how santa for christmas killed your parents.
The coffee machine is on from last nights staying up thinking about why the hell somebody would play a silver coloured tuba.
On your way to work you will see a shooting star.
Your wish doesnt come true and you continue to work.

4 kids ask you for directions.

At work you there is a woman standing at your desk.
When you get closer she leaves and you will never know why she was there.

As you hum some old Judas Priest song, though shalt realize its lunch!

After lunch you leave home and paint your walls of little baby Jesus. ;-)
You go back to sleep and there is santa waiting for you.

You dont snore.


Todays Horoscope: War

Marc 19th

4 fathers will call you in the morning. They say hello and you say goodbye.
On TV they will announce that they finally started on Gremlins 3.
You stutter: "G,g,g,g Gremlins?"

Whilst walking down the street you will notice that its raining.
As you open your mouth to the sky for God to pour some water into it, it stops raining.
God shouts: "Faggot!"

When you arrive at work you see that they have started to charge for coffee.
Thank god for that cash yesterday.
Your place has been robbed!
Do you know any pretty girls?

Todays lucky number: Pizza

18th March

The day starts with a you getting a cup of coffee but instead of coffee there is cash in your cup.
You stash the cash in your piggy-bank with your other savings which are supposed to be used to purchase a new bicycle but later on you will instead buy a new, bigger piggy-bank.

A guy named Gerald beats you up and you go back to work.

Evening: A comet ruins the world